Fire the Coach! It’s Week 1! Victory Monday, Meltdowns, and Philly Karen
Spit Takes and Meltdowns: A Wild Week 1 Recap from the SMQBs
Week 1 of the NFL season is in the books, and with it comes the glorious tradition of Monday morning overreactions. On Episode 232, the SMQB crew dives headfirst into the chaos, with epic rants, controversial calls, and a full slate of college and pro football breakdowns. From coaching seats getting scorching hot to viral fan moments, let’s unpack a fiery week in sports.
Who’s at the Bar?
The episode kicks off with the classic “Who you bringin’ to the bar?” segment, and the takes were piping hot. House on John Harbaugh: House invites the Ravens’ head coach to the bar, telling him he should be “really grateful” to still have a job after blowing what is reportedly his 17th double-digit lead in recent years.
Pope on Derek Henry: In a more supportive mood, Pope brings his fantasy running back Derek Henry to lift his spirits after a costly fumble. Pope notes Henry is not usually fumble-prone, having only lost one in the last two years prior to the game.
Milk on Emeka Egbuka: Milk brings the rookie wide receiver, who is sure to be a hot fantasy waiver wire pickup after grabbing four receptions for 67 yards and two touchdowns, including the game-winner.
Rooster on John Mara: Rooster is furious with the Giants’ owner, first for selling a 10% stake in the team to the Koch family and second for allowing the coach to keep Russell Wilson as the starting quarterback. He demands that coach Brian Daboll and Shane be fired.
Bison on… Himself: In a stunning move, Bison takes himself to the bar to celebrate a massive week. He gloats about his Baylor over SMU college pick that most of the crew mocked him for , and for beating Pope in fantasy football by one point as a direct result of the Derek Henry fumble.
Week 1 Overreactions: Fire Everybody!
The Giants’ performance sent Rooster into a tailspin. He declared them “the worst team in the NFL” and stated that Russell Wilson should never start another game. His frustration boiled over into a passionate plea for change, stating the “Jackson Dart era” should have begun in the second half of their game.
The crew also touched on other surprising and disappointing performances across the league:
Surprisingly Good: The Chargers, the Packers, and “Danny Dimes” with the Colts all earned praise for strong Week 1 showings. The Colts impressively scored on every single possession in their 33-8 victory over the Dolphins.
Surprisingly Awful: The Lions, Broncos, and Texans all looked terrible in their openers. The Lions’ offense was stagnant without former offensive coordinator Ben Johnson , and Texans’ QB C.J. Stroud was already complaining about a lack of effort from his team.
“Spitgate” in Philly: A significant portion of the discussion centered on the Eagles-Cowboys game, specifically the pre-game ejection of defensive star Jalen Carter for spitting. House argued that Dak Prescott provoked the incident by spitting in Carter’s direction first , while Pope contended Dak merely spit on the ground. All agreed that losing Carter, a top defensive player of the year candidate, enormously changed the game.
College Chaos and Florida’s Meltdown
If Rooster’s NFL rant wasn’t enough, Milk matched his energy with a spectacular meltdown over the Florida Gators’ loss to the USF Bulls. Milk declared that coach Billy Napier is a “.500 football coach” who should have been fired last year. He was furious over the team’s 11 penalties , QB DJ Lagway’s regression , and the fact that the team is on the hook for an $18 million buyout if they fire Napier mid-season. The pain is likely just beginning for Florida, as they face a gauntlet of ranked opponents in their next four games: the #3, #5, #7, and #19 teams in the country.
Punches, Lassos, and Final Thoughts
The episode wrapped with its signature segments, highlighting the best and worst of the week in sports.
Punch & Lasso of the Week: The crew unanimously punched “Philly Karen,” a fan at a Marlins-Phillies game who aggressively took a home run ball away from a child. After being called out by surrounding fans, she unapologetically boasted about getting the ball. The “Lasso” went to Phillies player Harrison Bader, who heard about the incident and met up with the family after the game to give the kid an autographed bat and other gear.
Pour Outs: The show ended with heartfelt tributes to two sports legends. Bison poured one out for longtime MLB player and manager Davey Johnson, who managed several teams he followed over the years, including the ’86 Mets, the Orioles, and the Nationals. Rooster honored legendary Montreal Canadiens goalie Ken Dryden, who won six Stanley Cups in just seven seasons and is regarded as one of the best to ever play the position.