Madden Ratings, Salary Floors, and a Pour Out for Ryno

August 5, 2025

SMQBs

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With the dog days of summer in full swing, Bison, House, and Rooster took the helm for this episode to break down a chaotic MLB trade deadline, dive deep into fantasy football strategy, and explore how a video game is shaping the real-life NFL. From front-office malpractice to moments of pure class, this episode covered the full spectrum of the sports world.

Here’s the breakdown…

Bringing to the Bar: Closers, Contenders, and Complete Strangers

This episode kicked off with a diverse round of people being brought to the bar:

House: A jubilant House toasted new Phillies closer Jhoan Duran (not pronounced like Duran Duran), celebrating the confidence that comes with having a dominant force on the mound who throws 103 MPH.

Rooster: Eyeing the future, Rooster brought Giannis Antetokounmpo to a bar near Madison Square Garden, hoping to lure the superstar to the Knicks after he announced he was undecided on his future in Milwaukee.

Bison: In a perfect encapsulation of a rebuilding team’s plight, Bison brought a group of newly acquired Nationals middle relievers he’d never heard of, joking that he’d need to provide name tags for them at the bar.

Trade Deadline Bonanza: Winners, Losers, and Head-Scratchers

The MLB trade deadline went from “quiet until it wasn’t” to “absolutely bonkers,” and the guys sort through it all.

Winners: The Seattle Mariners were lauded for acquiring bats like Josh Naylor without giving up any top-10 prospects, while the Philadelphia Phillies and New York Mets were praised for loading up their bullpens with elite closers like Duran and Ryan Helsley, respectively.

Movers: The San Diego Padres went “bananas,” moving nearly 15 players and trading away the #3 prospect in baseball for closer Mason Miller in a move some called “total managerial malpractice”. GM A.J. Preller has ransacked his farm system, betting everything on winning this year and next.

Losers: House delivered a massive “punch” (a little early in the show) to the Pittsburgh Pirates management for trading away their best players, including superstar closer David Bednar and third baseman Ke’Bryan Hayes. The crew agreed that the franchise seems to have no desire to compete while they have a generational talent in pitcher Paul Skenes, leading to a discussion about the need for a salary floor in baseball to stop teams from simply not trying.

The Blueprint: How Low-Payroll Teams Are Dominating

A major theme of the discussion was the stark contrast between the league’s highest and lowest spenders.

The Milwaukee Brewers, with the 20th-ranked payroll, currently have the best record in baseball and have been a consistent playoff team for years despite losing their GM and manager to bigger markets. They are, as Bison noted, “a franchise that is built the right way”. Similarly, the Miami Marlins have the lowest payroll in the league but also have one of the best records since early June, riding a wave of young talent and post-Tommy John pitchers who are all throwing smoke.

This success stands in direct opposition to the New York Yankees, who, despite a mammoth payroll, have one of the worst records in baseball since June 1st. Rooster gave a fiery “punch” to the team’s leadership, from owner Hal Steinbrenner to GM Brian Cashman and manager Aaron Boone, for overseeing a team plagued by terrible defense, poor baserunning, and a lack of discipline.

Fantasy Focus: Navigating Wide Receivers and Tight Ends

The guys cautiously shared their strategies for the upcoming fantasy football season, admitting they were hesitant to give away too many secrets to their league-mates.

Wide Receivers: Rooster argued that this year’s talent pool is so deep that it’s wise to draft running backs first and grab quality receivers later. The hosts debated the risk of drafting elite receivers with unproven quarterbacks, like Justin Jefferson with J.J. McCarthy.

Tight Ends: The conversation shifted to the value of elite tight ends like Brock Bowers and Travis Kelce, who can dominate red-zone targets. While top-tier tight ends are scarce, Rooster identified a potential sleeper in Elijah Arroyo of the Seattle Seahawks, a talented player returning from injury who could be a valuable late-round pick.

It’s In the Game… And the GM’s Office?

In a “fascinating” segment, House detailed the massive influence of the Madden NFL video game. With over $1 billion in annual net bookings, the game’s player ratings have become more than just numbers. Players use them as “bulletin board material,” and shockingly, a Ravens assistant GM admitted the team looks at Madden ratings when evaluating players. The hosts marveled at the absurdity of a video game having a real impact on NFL roster decisions, with House declaring, “art is now more than imitating life. It’s affecting life”.

A Classy Lasso and a Final Pour Out

The guys concluded with some powerful final segments:

Lasso: House gave a well-deserved lasso to the Minnesota Twins organization, particularly VP of Communications Dustin Morse. After trading star closer Jhoan Duran to the Phillies, the Twins graciously sent the entire intellectual property for his elaborate and electrifying entrance video—a custom production that took over 500 hours to create—to Philadelphia, saying it was for “the game of baseball”.

Pour Out: Bison ended the show with a heartfelt pour out for Hall of Fame second baseman Ryne Sandberg, who passed away at 65. He recounted Sandberg’s legendary career and the iconic “Sandberg Game,” where he hit two separate game-tying home runs off Hall of Fame closer Bruce Sutter in the 9th and 10th innings.